If One Must Treat Trick-or-Treaters...

I'm delighted to report that one can still purchase candy cigarettes.  Halloween is going to be so much more enjoyable for me now

Décolleté

Getting imports through US Customs has become a joy under the current administration.  Still, I was willing to dare, seeing as my favorite Italian shoe company promised that all tariffs and duties would be taken care of.  Anyway, how biased against the home of Berlusconi could we actually be?

But then, I received a call from FedEx claiming that portions of my invoice needed to be translated into English.  I opened the file, only to see one word that stood out:  décolleté.

First of all, décolleté is used in English, but, more importantly, one would think that The Donald had fast tracked any import with such an association.  Alas, I begrudgingly resubmitted the form, this time reading "low cut."

I Can See Why "Ship To Home" Is Not Available

Such a monumental error has not been made publicly since Stonehenge was in danger of being trampled by a dwarf

Giving My One Cent About Annoying Billing Practices

 
For foreign readers, as if there actually were any:  My two cents 

The Only Way To Make People Dislike Dolly

... is to name an innately hellish airport after her

What Is This Nonsense®?

Hot Girl Walk®

WaPo Hits New Journalistic Low

How could coverage of the Supermodel Cafe possibly be important enough to make The Washington Post?  Oh wait...

Bebemoche Penetrates Manosphere

The heart of the manosphere is apparently located at the Ring's End paint counter in (town, state).  High cheekbones and charm are not enough.  Best to have a pen*s if you require prompt service.  A bad attitude may also eventually yield a successful purchase.

Analytics Confirm, Nobody Visiting This Website

 

Happy New England Halloween?

For several years I have been putting off the purchase of "Disgusting Rat," which would have made an entertaining Halloween addition to our front porch.  Sadly, Disgusting Rat is now not only disgusting, but also permanently out of stock.  I should have loaded up on that junk while I had the chance.

Running an errand at Michael's this morning, I wound my way through the seasonal display of ghosts, pumpkins, and skeletons of all shapes and sizes when I spotted a large table of rubber decorations.  Could my long lost rat be there?  At the edge of a pile of black cats, frogs, and snakes, a dark figure on the back corner of the table caught my eye.  It was a black rubber...

...lobster(?), an interesting regional twist on holiday decorating.  Before now I had no idea that the local crustaceans participated in the holiday.

In Shocking First, Bebemoche Leaves Wegmans With Grocery Bill Under $100

$99.11

Introducing Forgettable®, A Fragrance Inspired By My Ex

Sorry I've Been Quiet

I've been busy helping Brad

 

Devil Wears Prada II: Even The Fashion Is Bad

I Had Better Be Nice To My Husband

Or else...

Letting You Know I Am Not Your B*tch... And This Vase Is Getting Heavy

Woman as vessel? 

Could there be even less practical ways to send this message?  There must certainly be one that doesn't require becoming the bitch of a vase instead

* credit goes to Pauline Cumming Art

The Onion? Or actual US news?

Hegseth announces new policy to test troops for low testosterone

Sometimes One Finds The Most Interesting Mementos From High School

My fate had been sealed as early as 1990

Nominate Your Invertibrate Of The Year

 My neighbor.

 

(Spineless indeed, but not prominent enough to be included in the list) 

When you fail your Marketing class, but your backup plan is to found a coffee company

"Steaming Bean?"  Ick!