Roach Attack!

I like nice, hot, steamy, long showers. Apparently, so do the roaches in my building. Yesterday, bath towel-bound, I waltzed back in to my bathroom after my shower to see a large roach scuttling across the floor. I reached for the readily available can of Raid and began to liberally spray, and spray, and spray as the roach ran across the floor seeking shelter, ultimately falling unconscious in my trash can.

I then looked up, only to see a parade of giant roaches waltzing down the steam pipe right into the heart of my bathroom. Now, imagine the events that I am about to describe as though they happened in slow motion...

I aimed the Raid at the opening of the pipe in the ceiling. Unfortunately, there was one fatal flaw with my plan. I was shooting Raid at flying roaches...

...one of which flew on to my bathrobe on the back of my bathroom door. The other of which flew directly at me and landed on my chest, right above where my bath towel was tied around me. I screamed at the top of my lungs and violently brushed off the roach which seemed to be enjoying his little run round my chest, which in reality probably lasted one second but felt like at least thirty. I then aggressively pursued him with an incredibly liberal spray of Raid until he at least had flipped over onto his back.

The other roach made a getaway towards my front door, pausing within the heel of my architectural sandals. God forbid I spray them with Raid. I tried to stop his running by stepping in front of him with my bedroom slippers on, but the little bugger was not afraid. He ran and ran through my extensive shoe collection until he had almost made it to the front door, where I drowned both him and my doormat in Raid.

By the time the ordeal was over I had doused my apartment in so much bug killer that I had to open the doors and windows. Not to mention the second shower I had to take to wash off my chest. I then liberally applied roach kiling gel, boric acid, and additional Raid in my bathroom, and disinfected every surface in sight. So far, no new sightings, but one never knows...