What Women Want

This woman wanted a SHA 140 professional shredder vac with two battery packs, a 14:1 compression ratio, a deflection-engineered suction tube, shoulder strap, and metal impeller blades.  I was willing to go to relatively great lengths to get it, and after placing my online order prepared to drive out to pick it up at a power equipment repair shop with a tiny retail outlet attached to the front.  I knew that there was no way that I was going to emerge from the experience without some sort of story, and so, I dressed appropriately.  That is to say that I decided to dress like a woman and put on lipstick, just to make a point.

My first few minutes waiting in line were rather uneventful.  I even noticed a hot pink baseball cap for sale at the counter, indicating that this brand of professional landscaping equipment may have actually been attempting to appeal to women.  Never mind the inch of dust that had collected on the cap, somewhat dulling the electric pink color.

At last it was my turn to pick up, and the youngish (under 40) guy behind the counter brought out my relatively large purchase and a box of battery packs and accessories, setting them on the floor of the shop.  Admittedly, the SHA 140 is as large as I am.  At this point, other customers began to be interested in what was going on. 

A man browsing the shop offered to carry my shredder vac out to my car for me (danger!), at which point youngish counter guy intervened and said he would help.  I responded to the other customer that if I was going to use the shredder vac then I also needed to be able to lift it.  His response was that I shouldn't let it blow me away.

I picked up the box of accessories, youngish guy took the shredder vac, and we walked out to the parking lot when youngish guy very surprisingly started to chat me up.

The first thing that crossed my mind was the familiar feeling of annoyance that someone was hitting on me in spite of the highly visible diamond wedding band on my left hand.  But then an unfamiliar thought entered my brain:  I began to repeatedly question whether or not the guy who was flirting realized exactly how old I am.  How old I am being too old for him, or so I thought.

Thus, the dilemma. 

I'm sorry to disappoint any exes who may be reading (none), but I have not let myself devolve into an asexual blob in spite of my advancing age.  That being said, assuming I live long enough, there will certainly be a point in time at which I cease to be sexually attractive to any human being.  I've spent most of my life not caring about appearing attractive to others,* perhaps even attempting to appear less attractive because of the constant issues that my appearance has caused in my professional life, with clients and colleagues, men and women.  

Now I find myself at a turning point.  Let's say there is a doomsday clock of sorts, midnight representing my official cronedom.  Am I hoping for the peace of after midnight?  Or longing for the clock to be set back?

For now, I thank under 40 guy for setting the clock back by a few hours. 

* If any youngsters are reading, I can't recommend not caring about being attractive as a dating strategy, although things seem to have worked out ok

** The compression ratio of the SHA 140 turned out not to be 14:1 and the shred is not fine enough for my taste.  While I balked at the one hour battery life, as it turns out, it is not so easy to wield a 15 lb piece of equipment for more than an hour.  It is a great piece of power equipment, nonetheless