Tuesday, April 03, 2007

My Female Intuition Tells Me I May Not Be Respected On My Project

Forget my [Top School] MBA, forget my other Ivy League Masters Degree, forget all of my work experience. I have been reduced to a puddle of stereotypes.

But I'm fighting back.

Case 1:
A dingy brown-toned office tower somewhere in Manhattan

LI: Wow, look at how all of these pens are organized. This is definitely a woman's office
Bebemoche (thinks and holds back from saying): Just because you, fool, are unorganized does not mean every other man in this office is

Case 2:
A dingy cream-toned office tower somewhere in Manhattan, one week later. Bossman is typing on the computer. Bebemoche is continuing with the discussion, as she is so rudely interrupted by....


LI: Bossman, are you listening? Can you multitask? (Turns to Bebemoche) Men just can not multitask. We can only listen to one thing at a time. That is where you women are superior...
Bossman: ...I know. I can go to dinner with my [trophy] wife and she will have understood the entire conversation at the next table, while I will not have remarked any of it at all

Bebemoche: Shall I repeat?
Bebemoche (thinks to self and holds back from saying): Never fear, I am going to use my female intuition to solve your multi-billion dollar problem

Case 3:
The
New York Knicks game, Madison Square Garden. The Knicks City Dancers come out to perform between quarters

Bossman: Those are all [Your Firm] Consultants

Bebemoche: What, the benefits weren't enough for them?


LI= Limited IQ Man, pronounced "lie"

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