Adventures In Online Dating

My dear fans, I would love to tell you that this time around my online dating experience had been as horrible as the last, but I would be lying. However, I do have a few amusing anecdotes to share after my very brief stint in the online dating world.

First of all, I went back to my old, trustworthy (well, maybe not) Ivy League* dating site, where, apart from the Jeffrey Dahmer-like individuals who signaled their interest, some of them for the second time around, I did actually meet a few really interesting and intelligent men, none of whom I was even remotely attracted to.

For some, the feeling was mutual. For others, their hopes were swiftly crushed as my post-wine lack of tact ripped them to shreds on various Manhattan street corners. I do feel slightly bad about that, but they'll get over it.

Second of all, I decided to cast a wider net, motivated by the successes of others. I joined another public site, where over a very brief period of time I must have clicked "No"** upon more than 250 law enforcement officers, construction workers, lecherous 50+ year underachievers, and one very notable 25 year old hot, blonde firefighter in Brooklyn. Let's just refer to that site as a reminder of how unattractive the general public really is.

That is why I was shocked and entertained when, as I went to cancel my membership, the site lined up photos of what must have been a group of models paid to appear and retain despairing female members. The photos, some of which resembled Calvin Klein cologne ads with a mostly naked wet man lying in the surf with a seductive look on his face, were lined up side-by-side with huge text reading: These men want to meet you. Are you sure you want to cancel your membership?

Yes.


* Although I did not note it above, I was incredibly frustrated with the continuing lack of honesty regarding height on the website. Besides my 6'4" date, everyone else had been dishonest and added a few fictitious inches, and it pissed me off. I do not like to tower over my date!
** It takes two clicks. What a pain. I think I have carpal tunnel now thanks to the experience