Being Ripped Apart By Wild Dogs More Pleasurable Than Dating Dogs

Consider this my 10 hour checkpoint. Ten hours completely wasted with the most useless (overeducated) men in the city. BK, you were right: that site aggregates freaks.

I am exhausted by writing these god damn profiles, and I have so little left to give. So tonight, I am giving you all the privilege of a quickie. Highlights:

• I received a text 2.5 hours before dinner: "Do you still want to have dinner?"
• My date asked me what I thought were the top five states in the US to start a business. When I balked at the question, he asked me to outline the factors which would make a state desirable. I looked at him (in an undesirable light) and said, "this is not a job interview." To which he stated, "This is fun." Yeah, right...
• There was an in-depth discussion of liverwurst, its texture, and its viability as a menu item / the focus of a career (for example, the liverwurst critic). Fascinating!
• Shorts. Red shorts. Always a powerful fashion statement. Not necessarily a positive one
• There was some reference to a famous director that I happen to have met in person and disliked. I commented that after having met said arrogant director I could not even enjoy his films any more. My date then said, "[arrogant director] is my friend's cousin." Oops
• Too bad I am not excited about seeing The Transformers....nor am I thrilled by the idea of spending all my time in another state just to save money on taxes
• My date told me that he lived in one particular direction, but then when I ran away (at the speed of light) I saw him walk directly across the street into his apartment building

I want to die. And I will.

Alone.